i am daisy mae

we had christmases

2012-01-12T12:52:00.001-06:00

we had christmases in new york city this year

christmases is very good for visiting so i spent lots of time with my mama's mama and my mama's papa and my aunt kathryn and my aunt emma and my uncle doug and my uncle austin and my friends rosaline and dan who came over to help us eat the seven fishes which i helped cook

my mama's papa is the chef of the seven fishes and my aunt kathryn is the sous-chef who assists the chef and i am the sous-sous-chef who stands under the sous-chef just in case anything falls on the floor that needs to be eaten

i am also very helpful in this regard at dessert times

being helpful is a lot of work so the next day my papa and me we took a christmases nap

this was a special christmases because my aunt emma gave me a purple squirrel that poops treats and also because my mama has a bunny in the oven

this does not mean she was cooking bunnies because it is Just An Expression which is peoples for something that is only true in the sense that it is not

i do not know exactly what it means

treats

2011-12-11T08:56:00.001-06:00

treats are very good for eating but there are some rules

cookies are little and crunchy and come in a jar or a bag and you can have one if someone comes to the door or you sit-stay or down-stay or sometimes just if you Are So Cute Daisy

peanut butters are sticky and go in the kong and you can have some if there are visitors or it is Time To Settle Down Daisy

but yesterday my mama put them all together and made peanut butters cookies

and those are only for peoples

history

2011-10-30T16:13:00.000-05:00

history is when things have already happened

you can learn about them but you cannot change them even when maybe they were very bad so when you look at history you have to be prepared for the worst

there are some good things in history for example there appear to be lots of puppies

some of them wrote books

and they had mamas

but there is a dark time in history when peoples thought it was a good idea to live with squirrels

even though this is not a good idea at all

my mama says it goes to show how arbitrary some ideas are in historical context which is peoples for the peoples from history are crazy and we are glad we do not live there

my aunt kathryn

2011-10-16T09:37:00.000-05:00

my aunt kathryn lives at the end of a ride in the car

she is not as far away as new york city or arkansas but you still have to cross the border into america and tell them hello this is my papa and my mama and this here sleeping in the back seat is me daisy mae

and we are here for a visits

my aunt kathryn has cable teevees so you can watch baseballs even during the playoffs which is when you have to say bad words when the yankees are losing

except for my aunt kathryn who is a cubs fan and has no one to say bad words about in the playoffs

so she will watch the yankees but with less shouting

she even went to new york city to see them for reals

when we watched the playoffs on teevees my mama kept yelling WHAAAAAT THAT WAS NOT A STRIKE and my papa kept yelling STOP IT JOE JUST STOP IT which is peoples for the yankees are not winning and my aunt kathryn and me we just kept hoping the yankees would stop not winning but they did not

watching the playoffs was harrowing this year because the squirrels took over and made everything very bad

when we are not watching baseballs my aunt kathryn is very busy and has to wake up first thing in the mornings and work all day and then coach soccer which is when peoples run around with a big ball like this

and no one will pass it to daisy mae

and at the end of the day she likes to watch movies just like i do

we had a very nice weekend and i only destroyed one thing in my aunt kathryn's house because i am very good at visiting

sulking

2011-10-01T20:51:00.000-05:00

sulking is a very good way to remind your peoples how much they love you

it goes like this

maybe it is the first day in a long times that it is nice and cool outside and when you go for your walks it feels lovely and breezy in the nighttimes and it just makes you all jumpy on the insides and when you get home you want to run up and down and throw your bone around and play chase with kitty

and your mama says not right now daisy it is time to settle in and watch teevees

and your papa says that's enough daisy the game is on

and kitty says hissssss hisssssss hissssssssssssss and goes to sleeps

that is when maybe you go into the other room where it is all dark because there is no one in there but you and you can lie in your bed thinking about how you have no bodies to play with and your mama and your papa and kitty can think about how they are not playing with daisy

and when you come back your mama says daisy mae while you were sulking we sure got a taste of how life would be without daisy and it was awful and empty and meaningless and i am so happy you are back

which is peoples for i love you even more than ever

i am in a movies

2011-09-18T10:15:00.001-05:00

i am in a movies

Walking with Daisy from Eugenia Zuroski Jenkins on Vimeo.

it is a documentary about my walks last tuesday

it is family-friendly because there are no squirrels and no bunnies

lately

2011-09-15T07:29:00.001-05:00

lately my mama makes a very good pillow

my papa always says be careful of her belly because that is the best part

this is rolling

2011-09-10T11:16:00.001-05:00

this is rolling

sometimes you find the right spot and you just have to do it

we are having

2011-07-29T08:57:00.004-05:00

we are having an interesting summer

pregnant is when sometimes my mama's tummy hurts all the time and nothing will help

not even pooping

and sometimes she laughs at me for no reason and other times she is too grumpy for walks so my papa and me we do all the walking

and at night my papa has to drink all the wines

pregnant is also when it is very hard work to not do very much at all so we have to take extra naps

my mama says pregnant is not nearly as interesting as what happens after pregnant but we will not know what that is until february

i hope it does not involve bunnies

bicycles

2011-07-18T21:24:00.002-05:00

bicycles are when peoples have wheels instead of legs

and they zoom by so fast you just want to CHASE them you don't know why you just do

roofers

2011-07-04T10:47:00.000-05:00

roofers is when it is very early in the mornings and there are peoples climbing all over the house

and nobody knows why

it is disconcerting which is peoples for not normal in a way that is probably bad

so you have to run all over the place barking barking barking and barking

because otherwise your mama and your papa might just sleep through it

i am very good at being helpful

did you know

2011-06-18T12:25:00.002-05:00

did you know that it is the year of the bunnies because it is

bunnies are like squirrels but maybe even sneakier because they only come out at dinnertimes and when you look at them they stay very very very very very very very still

and it is impossible to know what they are thinking

in the year of the bunnies you have to be extra vigilant on walks because you are looking for creatures that are doing suspicious things and also looking for creatures that are suspiciously not doing anything

you can never be too careful

math

2011-05-12T11:18:00.000-05:00

math is when springtimes has one million smells and new york city has one million smells so when you are having springtimes in new york city that makes more smells than you can even smell in one day

conceptual smells are smells that just aren't being smelled right now

they are waiting for nexttimes

every time

2011-03-24T13:25:00.003-05:00

every time my mama takes the broom out she gathers up a Whole Other Cat

a Whole Other Cat is the parts of kitty that are no longer a part of kitty

but they still smell like kitty

when something used to be a part of someone but then it isn't any more because it got stuck under the couch or behind the door and you have to gather it up and make it go away so life can be normal again that is what Julia Kristeva calls abjection

my mama calls it sweeping

they both agree that it is horrific

i do not like it because how does my mama know where kitty ends and a Whole Other Cat begins?

she says when you have been around a while the distinction is pretty obvious but i am not so sure

right now

2011-02-27T14:20:00.002-06:00

right now we are having a bleak midwinter

a bleak midwinter is peoples for when your papa goes away to arkansas and it won't stop snowing on you and your mama in canadia and then you are naughty at the dog park so you cannot go there anymore for a little whiles and your mama has to walk you around and around in all the snow and then when you come home she does not cuddle on the couch because she goes out to shovel the walk and that is NOT HOW THINGS WORK so you have to bark and bark and bark and bark and bark and jump up on the door to tell her to come back inside and then when she tries to come back inside she can't come back inside because your jumping "locked the door" which is peoples for your mama has to sit outside in the snow for hours so you have to keep barking at her until a man in a truck comes and drills holes in the door and your mama has to give him all her moneys and then when she is finally back inside she does not even want any kisses

i think the poet christina rossetti said that

today

2011-02-14T10:59:00.000-06:00

today it is my birthdays

i am three

you will know it is my birthdays today because you will get more kisses and i love yous than usual and maybe some cookies too

on my birthdays everyone in the world loves everyone else as much as my mama and my papa love me

snow

2011-02-02T11:59:00.004-06:00

snow is when all the smells in the world are buried under the white and the cold

to find them you have to be very clever and dig little holes and put your nose in the holes and sometimes your whole head and kind of snorfle around to see where those smells are hiding

peoples are not so good at snorflings because their noses are too far away from the ground so they have to do shovelings instead and that is not nearly as satisfying

snow makes everything strange for example sometimes it can be very difficult to know where to poop

it makes my mama and my papa a little sad* so i have to work extra hard to make sure everything is okay

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*Note from Daisy's mama: Yesterday, my mother-in-law passed away following a sudden and unexpected illness. Daisy Mae, always sensitive to our feelings, has been especially attentive, staying close and licking up lots of tears. I don't know how we'd do this without her.

my mama

2010-12-15T18:45:00.001-06:00

my mama is not feeling too good today

she wouldn't get up or dressed or go on walks or anything, she just ate about nine breakfasts and they were all soup

and then she had to take a bath

i sat on the bathmat the whole time so she wouldn't be scareded

we were very brave

a special skill

2010-12-02T09:08:00.005-06:00

a special skill that i have is being able to do many important things at the same time

it is called puppytasking because peoples cannot do it

i know this because in the evening my mama says no jumping around now daisy we are watching a movie or my papa says please chew on your toy daisy and stop bothering me

as if all of these things could not happen simultaneously

now my mama and me we have a new game called jogging

jogging is a kind of walks in which there is no sniffing no pooping no squirrel-stalking no peeing and no playing with sticks

it is very good for peoples because it is very simple

but it is not so much fun

time

2010-10-25T09:40:00.002-05:00

time is peoples for something i do not understand

like sometimes i want to go on my walks and my papa says daisy mae give me some time

and i do not have any

my mama says that is because puppies live in a binary world of happening and not-happening but that peoples have all this stuff in between which is time

time is hard to find because it has no smells but i think it lives in the computer and the teevees

there is a mice

2010-10-01T12:39:00.001-05:00

there is a mice that lives in the kitchen

it is in a lot of troubles because it has been eating the people food and that is very very bad

like last week it nibbled a pizza that my papa had just taken out of the oven and one time i got in terrible trouble just for sniffing my mama's pizza

i asked my mama what our strategerie was about the mice and she said diplomacy is always the right approach and i said what does that mean and she said it means the next time i see the mice i am going to give it a stern talking-to and i said a talking-to about what and she said ABOUT ITS IMMINENT DEATH

and that is why you never go near my mama's pizza

part of my job

2010-09-18T16:27:00.005-05:00

part of my job as an antelopelologist is to study the languages of foreign creatures

squirrels do not have much to say maybe because their mouths are always full of haycorns

one explanation is that they have no language but this to me seems unlikely because then how could they plot collectively against the general wellbeing of others

i believe that they withhold their language from us as part of their general sneakiness

chippermonks on the other hand are quite talkative

today on my walks i saw a building with vines all over it and the vines were moving and i walked up to them and put my nose in them and there was a chippermonk in there! and it said WEEEEEEEET weetweetweetweet which i take to mean "hello daisy mae i am a chippermonk" and then there were MORE chippermonks in there and they said WEEEETWEEEET weetweetweet WEEEEEEEEEEEEET which can only mean "we are chippermonks and we are in these vines and you found us daisy mae because you are the most cleverest puppy"

now that i speak chippermonk if i can only find the Rosetta Bone with chippermonk, peoples, and squirrel i will know what those squirrels are saying about me

my research

2010-09-15T19:52:00.001-05:00

my research on squirrels has entered a new stage

the first stage was largely bile-logical which is the science of opening squirrels up to see what's inside*

but my mama said maybe i could take a more antelope-logical approach which is when you study the behaviors of squirrels when they are alive and uneated and this way you can find out where all their crazy squirrel ideas come from

one thing i have observed is that squirrel culture is organized around the obsessive collection of haycorns

so when i am in the field which is peoples for when an antelope-lologist goes on her walks i like to stop and investigate the haycorns which come from the sidewalk underneath the tree by the playground

then i like to carry one or two haycorns around for a while to try to see the world through a squirrel's eyes but without taking the eyes out of a squirrel

i have a growing collection of haycorns at home and my mama said if i'm not careful i will go native and i said what does that mean and she said i don't want to know

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*feetsnote: so named because the old greek hippo Crates said that squirrels are full of yellow bile which is the stuff inside them that makes them so disagreeable

a dilemma

2010-08-15T13:10:00.000-05:00

a dilemma is when you want things a certain way but something prevents that way of being how it is

the thing-that-prevents is known as an obstacle and it frequently takes the form of metal patches in the ground like this:

i do not like obstacles and i do not like to walk on them or even go near them

my mama says they are just-a-grates which is peoples for mamas can go near them without succumbing to the evil powers they exercise over puppies

the other night i had a dilemma when i was relaxing in the hallway with my ball and when that happens you have to growl at the obstacle for a while and then yell MAMA MAMA I HAVE A DILEMMA at which point she will stop watching her movie and come address your concerns which are this:

i think you see what i mean

my papa's job

2010-08-02T12:35:00.000-05:00

my papa's job is being a freelance writer which is peoples for looking at the computer all the time

sometimes when you work from home like my papa and me other peoples think your job is not very strenuous but let me tell you that is simply not true

first we have to work on the laptop

then we have to work on the desktop

while my papa writes i spend some time on my bonework

and then we have to take a little nap

sometimes kitty helps with the editing

and sometimes we even work late into the night on the phone

being a writer is a lot like being a puppy in that your work is never really finished

science

2010-07-09T10:56:00.000-05:00

science is when you want to know how something works

so you make up a Hippo Thesis about how it might work and then test it out with Speriments

for example i am very interested in knowing exactly what is so wrong with squirrels

there is obviously something evil in them

my Hippo Thesis is that maybe if you just give them a really good shake you can get the evil out and then they would be okay for friends

this one time i caught one and tried to Speriment it but it got broken so i ated it

you know you can be friends

2010-06-25T15:45:00.001-05:00

you know you can be friends with peoples and puppies you have never even met

that is what the internets is for

one of my friends is a beagle named della mae who helps her mama Lady Buttons with her blog and and we have ever so much in common like our names and our mamas and our ears and being from the south and living in canadia and all kinds of things

her mama gave me a beautiful blogger award which is peoples for i love you in the internets

i am going to tell you seven things about me daisy mae that you maybe did not know

1. when i was littles i had a white spot between my eyes and a black tail but now i am all daisy-colored

2. i can show you the tree on the trail where the chipper-monks hide i swear

3. i don't like it so much when you touch my feets

4. this one time i ated a squirrel and it tasted like mischief

5. my favorite outside game is Running Away and my favorite inside game is Being Close

6. sometimes i dream there are bunnies in the house and i have to chase them in my sleep

7. i am told i am quite a snorer

one of my favorite games is sharing and i am sharing my award with these blogs:

Bookwagon: my mama's papa's favorite game is reading books
The Aunt-Ventures of L and Auntie She-She: we miss my auntie shelia who does not live in canadia with us
All Things Frau: my friend gobo is a kitty and his mama's blog makes my mama droolly
Running Is Optional: my friend zeus helps his mama read and run
Hero the Sharpei: hero is a puppy like me
My Life by Buster: buster is a puppy too
Daily Dose of Jack: jack is a puppy too

oooooh i absolutely love the internets

a garden

2010-06-19T17:39:00.000-05:00

a garden is a very funny thing

sometimes you want to dig it up and then other times you do not want to dig it up

some things you want to make grow in it and other things you want to stop from growing in it

and then the plants that are "for eating" are the ones you are not allowed to eat

only my mama knows the exact rules

today after we gardened we read an exciting thriller full of suspense and intrigue

it is called The Tale of Peter Rabbit and it is about the ever-present bunny menace

stories are funny too because sometimes they confuse you about whose side you are on

imagination is when even though you do not want bunnies in your garden you do not really want Peter Rabbit to end up in a pie either

my mama says it is perfectly alright

cleaning

2010-06-06T13:21:00.001-05:00

cleaning is when my mama and my papa spend the day undoing all the hard work i've done making everything in the house good and smelly

i suppose they do it to keep me busy but it still makes me a little sad

sometimes you can find a good pile of filth that has been swept together and lie down in it one last time

my mama says it is okay to be melancholy about change but in the end you have to let some things go

entertaining

2010-05-26T11:07:00.004-05:00

entertaining is when peoples come to the house to see ME daisy mae and my papa makes them hamburgers

last night we entertained a new friend called disa

disa is a baby which is a cross between a peoples and a puppy

she does not like to play games but she is very good for sniffing so i let her sit in my spot on the couch

sometimes if you are very patient and very sneaky you can give her feet a good lick

my mama is in london

2010-05-17T15:16:00.001-05:00

my mama is in london which is someplace where i cannot find her

she sent me this photo

i do not like london and i think she should come home

today

2010-05-09T11:18:00.003-05:00

today is a special day for mamas so my mama and me we took an extra special walk over to the dog park and i was on my most bestest behavior

i only stole one other dog's ball and i only made my mama chase me for it a little bit

did you know that my mama also has a mama

at first i did not believe it either but now it makes sense

after all someone had to take my mama for walks when she was a puppy

when you dig

2010-05-06T16:26:00.001-05:00

when you dig out back by yourself it is called destruction but when you and your mama and your papa all do it together it is called gardening

we live in a new house now and we have to make the back a vegetable garden

we spent all day pulling up plants and sniffing bugs

i thought maybe we could leave one little patch of grass which is very good for lying in

but we couldn't because in a vegetable garden everything must go

spring is a time

2010-04-24T22:15:00.002-05:00

spring is a time of assessment when you have to do a lot of marking

my mama marks with a red pen and i mark with peeing

we are both conscientious and thorough

which is why at the end of the day we have to do extra relaxing which is peoples for sleeping on the couch with the tv on

peoples

2010-02-16T18:33:00.000-06:00

peoples say the strangest things

for example on our nighttime walks sometimes my mama says "cmon daisy less sniffing more pooping"

it's like does she even know what pooping IS

today

2010-02-14T19:07:00.001-06:00

today my mama says i am a terrible two

that is peoples for i am extra super special because it is my birthday

my mama and me we went out for a birthday walk and i found the biggest stick in all of canadia and did victory laps all over the golf course

it snowed today so the only tracks were bunny tracks and mama tracks and tracks made by ME daisy mae

did you know there is a house by the golf course that smells like kitties

it is true i know because i sniffeded it

sometimes

2010-01-14T00:31:00.000-06:00

sometimes when i walk up the street in the snow and then i walk back down i find these backwards footprints that smell JUST LIKE ME

i am not even making this up

in winter

2010-01-09T11:52:00.000-06:00

in winter my golf course turns into a tabula rasa

this is a concept invented by an old english people named jonlock

he said THERE ARE NO INNATE IDEAS which meant all the golfers had to go home so the snow could come turn everything like white paper

i like to fill my tabula with things like running in the snow and snorfling the snow and eating the snow and digging a little hole in the snow and putting my nose in it and smelling the snow

they are my very best ideas

i do not

2010-01-02T13:16:00.001-06:00

i do not like to poop in the cold

my mama says this is going to be a problem

we are back in canadia and my mama bought me a new toy for the new year and it is an indestructible squeaky ball with feet and i have already eaten the feet off

indestructible is peoples for more satisfying to destroy

christmas

2009-12-27T05:39:00.001-06:00

christmas is when my mama and my papa and i go to new york city and everyone wraps everything up in paper and then unwraps it again

it is a lot like moving except you do not move anywhere

and there are toys everywhere but most of them when you try to play with them everyone says NO

for example the toys growing on the inside tree

and the wise men in the creche

and all the paper which is very good for chewing

christmas is rather confusing

what about this one can i eat this one?

i can eat this one!

on christmas all the toys are called Presents and they are From Santa which means they are from peoples who love you

my best present was a big hug from my papa

once you figure it out christmas can be very rewarding

last night

2009-12-04T06:38:00.001-06:00

last night i ran around the entire golf course carrying a Whole Goddam Tree which is peoples for a really really good stick

and then we watched movies which is when my mama and my papa look at the tv and i sleep in my papa's lap

sometimes i think about new york which is where all my new friends live for example these little birds that live inside

they like to jump around in a cage and beep and i like to lie on the couch and watch them

they are like movies but birdier

new york

2009-12-01T08:37:00.001-06:00

new york is where it smells like a million billion new things and my mama and my papa and i went there and i went for walks in it

and i saw ducks and pigeons and a huge possum in the daytime and i thought they only lived in the nighttime

but my mama says new york possums are the possums that never sleep

here is something you should know: new york squirrels are superfast because they are up to extra evil

and i met a kitty and she let me take a nap with her!

as long as i was very quiet and didn't get on her side of the couch

things i have eated

2009-11-04T15:01:00.001-06:00

things i have eated lately include

my bone
my bed
my blanket
my papa's socks
my mama's glasses
my dinner
my breakfast
my leash
a program for the canadian opera company's recent production of Madama Butterfly
a Guitar Hero World Tour microphone
my mama's shoes
my mama's other shoes
a squirrel

here's what i love:
farting

this is not my ball

2009-10-24T14:49:00.002-05:00

this is not my ball

one of the things to do in canadia is go to the dog park and one of my favorite games at the dog park is Running Around With Other Dogs' Toys

it goes like this

first you must identify a toy that is being thrown specifically for another dog and this is ideally a toy that that dog and other dogs want very very badly

the general level of want for the toy must be pursued through research as demonstrated here

now that you have confirmed that the black dog really really really likes the long tennis ball thingy which is indeed a very good toy you can go get it before that dog can get it and run around with it thus

and chasing ensues which is my favoritest thing ever

i also know how to share like one time my friend johnny came over and i let him share my bed and my mama's iphone and we added all kinds of dubious apps to it as she would later discover

i absolutely love Playing Well With Others

even though

2009-08-26T13:20:00.001-05:00

even though they are called Walks walking is really just a warm up now that i am a triathlete

tri is peoples for three so there are three parts of my daily training and the first is Running which is self-explanatory

you have to do it a lot and very fast and this also includes multiple subcategories including Up The Mountain, Over Trees, With Stick, and With Other Dogs

next i have to do Swimming which is when a peoples throws a stick in the swimming hole and you run in the water where there is no ground to get it

Swimming is really an advanced version of Full Body Drinking at which i have excelled for some time

then of course there is Squirrel Wrangling which is when you run through all the woods and clear the whole ground of squirrels and also chippermonks count too

now that it is almost fall my mama says the squirrels are Preparing For Winter which means they steal all the chestnuts and crabapples and are super-cheeky and TALK BACK TO YOU and you have to chase 'em real good to show them what's what

i am telling you i am so busy i have to take extra hard naps

something you should know

2009-08-24T13:36:00.001-05:00

something you should know about me is that i have many very important duties

for one thing i have to protect my mama from squirrels and for another i have to keep an eye on papa at all times in case he decides to go away and he forgets that he should never do that without taking me and mama with him too

as if that were not enough i also have to help keep the shoe population around the house in check

you would not believe how they proliferate especially my mama's

sometimes they are out of control and you find a rogue pair lying around under a table or something and you have to neutralize them like for example today my mama's favorite sneakers

they were just lying there all morning not taking me for walks so you know they were up to no good

i am very helpful

rain is when

2009-07-25T10:32:00.001-05:00

rain is when you get wet and you didn't even roll in a puddle or anything

it is very unpleasant

sometimes it only rains on this one house on our street in a bizarre natural phenomenon known as Sprinklers but other times like yesterday and the day before that it rains on the whole world

today it's not raining and i showed my mama my new favorite game which is called Running Up the Mountain

mama says peoples prefer to stay on the trail and not run straight up a gigantic vertical incline through trees and prickly bushes and i say it sounds like peoples are missing the whole point of having a mountain at all

when you get to the top you can play my other favorite game, Running Down the Mountain

the mountain is right in the middle of squirrel country and those squirrels i am telling you they are so sneaky

they run toward trees and DISAPPEAR i am so serious

in my dreams i run up the mountain and down the mountain and up the mountain and down the mountain and i am so fast i catch all the squirrels and the peoples they can finally live in peace

have you ever seen

2009-07-04T18:49:00.001-05:00

have you ever seen the beach? it is this crazy place where THE WATER MOVES AT YOU

i went there today and my papa and me we went wading

wading is very refreshing but you gotta keep an eye on those waves

they just keep coming

we live in canadia

2009-07-02T10:58:00.001-05:00

we live in canadia now

and at our new house instead of a Back Yard we have a Golf Course and a Nature Trail

a Nature Trail is where you walk on a leash and it smells like a million new things

and there are squirrels and black squirrels and really big black squirrels and joggers and walkers and strollers and bikers and deer and goldfinches and noises and waterfalls and a dead groundhog and most of all chipper-monks

so you have to stay alert at all times or as mama says Too Excited To Pee

a Golf Course is a huuuuuuuuuge lawn where you go at night and run around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around

and around and around and around and around

and there are nighttime birds called Bats that go cccccriiiiick crikcrikcrik

mama says we like Bats because they eat skitos but i like them because they are there and then they aren't

i like our new house except when mama and papa leave me alone in it

then it's still a little scary

oh my god

2009-06-23T06:40:00.000-05:00

oh my god in buffaloes they have the craziest squirrels

they are called BUNNIES

mama and papa

2009-06-06T07:38:00.000-05:00

mama and papa have lost their minds

they took all the furniture outside and now they're giving it away to strange peoples

and they woke up when it was still nighttime to do it

and it is saturday

they are suffering from the disturbing condition known as yard sale

and they better not give away my bed

ATTENTION

2009-06-03T07:27:00.004-05:00

ATTENTION

THIS IS A SQUIRREL ALERT CODE RED

REPEAT

SQUIRREL ALERT CODE RED

MY MAMA AND ME WE TOOK AN EARLY MORNING WALK AND THEY ARE EVERYWHERE

YOU HEAR ME? EV. ER. EE. WHERE.

IF YOU GO OUTSIDE PLEASE EXERCISE EXTREME VIGILANCE

IF YOU SEE ANY OF THE FOLLOWING:

TWITCHY TAILS

BEADY EYES

SUDDEN, DARTING MOVEMENTS IN, UP, TOWARD, OR AROUND TREES

YOU MAY BE IN THE VICINITY OF A SQUIRREL

IF YOU WITNESS OR SUSPECT ANY SQUIRREL ACTIVITY, BARK IMMEDIATELY AND LOUDLY

THIS IS NOT A TEST

have you ever seen

2009-05-17T11:32:00.002-05:00

have you ever seen a canadia goose?

because my mama and me we saw TWO at the park today and she says they are birds but i don't think so because they are as BIG as ANIMALS

also they honk!

and i don't know if you know this but we are moving to canadia which is a decision we made before i knew about their crazy gooses

i just don't know about this at all

today i got a letter

2009-05-08T20:03:00.001-05:00

today i got a letter from my friend easter who went to live with my auntie shelia's family:

Hey Daisy,

It's me, Easter. Just wanted to let you know that I am doing fine. I have new peoples now. They are okay. The boy named Noah doesn't like to get licked. He says I am a ghetto dog because I do drive by licks. Someone keeps filling in the holes that I am digging so that I can escape. I think it is the boy. I'm going to the home of some guy named Granddad tomorrow. They says I'll live with him forever. The momma of this house says they were just offering a temporary shelter, so I has to go to my new home. Okay more later. The girl who lives here is coming, and I am in her room.

Deuces

my mama says easter is going to go live on granddad's farm which is a real farm with cows and not a figurative farm with dead people

and maybe one day i can visit

sunday night

2009-04-27T09:28:00.001-05:00

sunday night is our new book club night me and easter

mama's selling a bunch of books before we move to canada and we decided to check some out

A Conspiracy of Paper by David Liss we only got about halfway through but Period by Dennis Cooper we ate cover to cover

and then we pooped inside

easter and me

2009-04-21T09:13:00.002-05:00

easter and me we have taken Escaping to a whole new level

it's called Going Feral!

mama is not a fan

so me and my friend easter

2009-04-15T22:02:00.007-05:00

so me and my friend easter we were napping but then something cool happened over there

and i was like wake up let's go over there and she was like whaaaa?

and then she went back to sleep

and i was like come ON i'm sticking my nose in your ear wake UP

but then i just went over there myself because life's too short and she is lazy

epilogue:

then when i was ready for more nap who knows where she went that silly easter i missed her

there's this other dog

2009-04-14T08:54:00.003-05:00

there's this other dog who is staying with us because she lost her peoples on easter and we have to find them

and it's pretty cool especially now that she is getting better at Bite Each Other In The Face

but here's the thing

i will share my food

i will share my bed

i will share my treats for coming and sitting and down

i will share my stick

i will share my walk

i will share my chewy things even though sometimes i need both of them

i will share my mama and my papa

but i will NOT share my mama's first thing in the morning kisses

they are MINE

sometimes

2009-03-17T19:07:00.002-05:00

sometimes vacations can be exhausting

like this past weekend for example when we went to crossett so my mama and my papa could see their new niece penny and i could see my cousins blizzie and max and noonan

in crossett there are no inside dogs so i have to stay out back with noonan which is only fun for a little while and then everybody goes away and it starts raining and it's cold and muddy and nighttime and no one knows where i am no matter how much i bark

so sometimes i have to escape

and so mama and papa say ok daisy mae you don't have to sleep in the rain and they take me to a strange vet's that smells like being scared and leave me with ladies who put me in a closet in the way back and don't play with me or talk to me or let me go to the bathroom enough so i have to try and escape which doesn't even work except to scrape up my nose

and they tell me that i'm spoiled rotten which means we're not giving you any of the treats your mama left with you

and it seems like mama and papa are never coming back but then they do and they let me chase blizzie and the cows and that's better

mama calls that awful place cultural dissonance

i call it misery

she says sometimes it's good to be out of your element which means it's nice to know how good it feels to be your normal self

here's what

2009-03-17T13:17:00.000-05:00

here's what i don't like

when we're driving around in the truck all together and then papa pulls in somewhere and gets out and walks away

because where is he going?

and how do i know if he'll come back?

COWS

2009-03-17T12:39:00.000-05:00

COWS ARE THE BIGGEST DOGS I'VE EVER SEEN

i mean you do not understand they are HUGE

and i went to crossett and i chased them

every morning

2009-03-04T09:32:00.003-06:00

every morning on our walk we see these amazing things

they're like they're like they're like leaves with heads that blow around even when there's no wind and they're called justabirds

and sometimes i swear they are looking at me

and you can never find out where they go because mama won't let you off the leash

and if you're really quick and you catch one it's called justaleaf

i have a new game

2009-03-02T10:56:00.002-06:00

i have a new game it's called Escaping

see it turns out that if you are very clever which i am you can wriggle under the wire fence out back and then you are out in the whole world

i am so good at it that every day i advance a level and my mama and my papa have to go out and make obstacles with hammers and nails and logs and big rocks and sometimes it takes me a while but i always figure it out and then i run around the neighborhood and make new friends while mama and papa chase me around cursing

Escaping is a game that segues very nicely into Running Away

sometimes mama and papa can be real sore losers and they are quite short with me when we get home but i tell them it's okay you guys

i still love you

today i am one years old

2009-02-14T12:42:00.012-06:00

today i am one years old

mama says we don't know exactly what day i was born but valentine's day makes sense because i am all love

i reminded her that i am also some parts slobber and running around and she said yes that's true

here are some of the things i love

kitty:

my friend barley:

my ball and my other ball:

my frisbee that i ate the middle out of even though the package said i couldn't:

exploring:

hiking:

running away:

riding in the truck:

my bed:

my mama and my papa:

we are having an ice storm

2009-01-29T15:05:00.009-06:00

we are having an ice storm which is when all the trees turn to icicles and fall down and there are no lights or tv at home and everyone has to snuggle in their blankets

like me:

and kitty:

and mama:

it's been a lot of work keeping mama cheered up because she hates being cold so when i'm not cuddled up and sleeping i do a lot of running around and tossing my chewy things around and pouncing on them and finding kitty and chasing kitty and things like that to show her how much fun being stuck inside can be

also i had to check out this big tree that fell in our backyard and bark at it for a while:

today mama and papa got tired of sitting around being cold and watching me eat their socks and they said guess what it's take daisy to work day! and we walked up to campus because even though it's a disaster area at least there's heat and internet in mama's office and we can catch up on blogging and being warm

mama says a natural disaster is when everything is broken and no fun but secretly i think it's a little fun

last week i ate mama's boots

2009-01-22T14:09:00.002-06:00

last week i ate mama's boots and she said the only reason i'm not living on the streets is because they weren't her newest boots

but yesterday someone peed on her favorite new bag that papa bought her as a special present and it had to go in the washing machine where it fell into a hundred pieces that can never be put back together again and guess what it wasn't even me

it was kitty

papa said

2009-01-02T20:55:00.000-06:00

papa said no more stuffed friends for me because they make a terrible mess and are a waste of money the way i go through them

but then he sent mama to the pet store around christmas and she came back with a santa bear

and i ate his leg and his hat and his arm and his other arm and his head and opened up his belly and tore out all the stuffing and threw it around and found his squeaky heart and tossed it in papa's lap and he said "see" and mama said "she's not done" because i still had a pile of fluff and one booted little foot to scatter all over the house!

and i did

here's what i love:

christmas

i have no one to play with

2008-11-29T13:27:00.009-06:00

i have no one to play with since

i killded Lobster

i shredded Squirrel

i unstuffed Hedgehog

i gutted Pheasant

i ate Mallard's face off

i disemboweled Blue Heron and saved his legs for a while and then unraveled them until they were gone too

i tore off Raccoon's tail and turned him inside out

i chewed off Rabbit's ears and pulled his guts out of his neck

i removed Octopus's legs

i dismembered Blue Lobster

i declawed Trayf

and i plucked Duck's innards out of his butt

Me and Hedgehog and Squirrel and Trayf in happier times

Me and Duck

Pulling Rabbit's insides out of his head

I love Duck!

Look what you have in your butt, Duck!

Uh oh—Mama, all of Duck's insides came out of his butt.

mama and papa don't approve

2008-11-12T12:05:00.002-06:00

mama and papa don't approve of any of my games

these days it's all daisy mae don't eat books or daisy mae don't eat dvds or daisy mae get your nose out of the people food or daisy mae barking at the dogs next door is not a fun game

and i'm like but mama barking at the dogs next door IS a fun game

but it doesn't matter she never listens

yesterday i went to doggie daycare and saw all my friends and when i came home papa said oh my god daisy you have a gaping wound in your cheek and i said oh that's nothing papa my friends and i were just playing Bite Each Other In The Face today

but he and mama went and freaked out and talked to val who said that i am a big fan of Bite Each Other In The Face and they've been keeping an eye on me

mama said daisy mae i know you don't mind when other dogs Bite You In The Face but other dogs don't like it when you Bite Them In The Face which is just her way of saying yet again that something that is very fun isn't fun

the only one who understands me these days is octopus

he lets me bite him in the face all day long

mama says

2008-11-03T14:56:00.003-06:00

mama says i have entered adolescence

i have been in a certain spirit lately that i like to call "exploratory" or "curious" or "actively engaged in the world"

mama calls it "testing my boundaries" or "trying her patience" or "wantonly destroying everything in my path"

for example yesterday i ate a very interesting book called the ballad of dingus magee and when mama and papa found me they were maaaad

papa said NO EATING BOOKS IN THIS HOUSE! which i find confusing because we are a very literary family

so later i tried to make amends by writing a new book for the library but i ended up just eating a whole pen because they are not well designed for canine usage and then i puked up ink all over the study floor

i could have taken it in a pollockian direction from there but mama chased me into the backyard and papa mopped it all up

i feel they do not quite understand my vision so i worked all night on deconstructing my bed by which i mean i painstakingly chewed a hole in it and tore out all the stuffing

this morning when mama came out for her shower i said SURPRISE I INVERTED THE BED PARADIGM and she turned around and went back to bed

you'll notice

2008-10-26T20:24:00.003-05:00

you'll notice i haven't posted for a while because i have been sooooooo busy

for example i went to crossett to visit my cousins blizzie and max and we ran around and chased cows and then on the drive back the car got sick because the engine exploded and my papa had to push it to a gas station and my mama and i had to sit in starbucks for hours and hours and then grandpa and uncle ryan came and picked us up in a big truck and i got to ride in the back and i slept all the way home

and the car died and we never saw it again

now we have a big truck

and then my mama and papa had to go to new york city to get married so i would no longer be a puppy out of wedlock and i got to go to the doggie dude ranch for ten days

the doggie dude ranch is where you go out to the country and run around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and then it's ten days later and you go home and take a long nap

i made friends with a great dane who they say can chase down a deer which means he can run fast but i can run just as fast and no one can believe it ooooooooh i absolutely love running

when my mama got home she gave me kisses and told me i am a big muscle with fur and ears

that means she loves me

tonight my papa had a meeting so my mama and i invented a new game where i disembowel my squirrel and scatter all its stuffing around the kitchen floor and my mama says daisy mae i'm trying to cook dinner and i run around and get my new raccoon and she says you're making an awful mess and sighs and gets the broom and sweeps all the squirrel guts up into a big pile and i run through it with my raccoon and she screams and throws the raccoon into the next room and sweeps up again and i get my raccoon and run through the pile again and roll around a bit and she throws the raccoon into the other room and i get my raccoon and also my chipmunk and also my big red ball with the disgusting smelly rope and i carry them all at the same time into the kitchen and we all roll around in the pile of stuffing and mama chases us around which is lots of fun especially when says bad words because the frittata is burning

i love my raccoon and my chipmunk and my ball and my mama

also i love to sleep in my own bed

on tuesday evenings

2008-09-08T11:58:00.003-05:00

on tuesday evenings i go to obedience school at the canine connection

school is where you get treats for sitting and walking around and i must say i believe i am excelling

before school i go to doggie daycare because otherwise i am too ADD to learn anything my mama says

doggie daycare is where there are all kinds of puppies and you run around and around and around and around and around and take a nap and run around and around and around and around and around some more and then val gives you a cookie because you are "miss congeniality" which means the best

my mama says i'm not so congenial when i am being destructive for example when i ate her favorite silver sandals last week

she said daisy mae can you tell me why i love you so much when all you do is destroy the things i love and i said because mama i am in the words of henry james an imperturbable little prodigy of delightful loveable goodness and she said yep that's it

and i got another cookie

i am

2008-08-25T09:43:00.005-05:00

i am daisy mae

i am a LION HOUND

the other day at the park a nice peoples told me that i was a rhodesian ridgeback and my mama and papa looked that up and found all kinds of puppies on the computer that look like me DAISY MAE

like this one which has my chest and my toes and my tail and my ears and my nose and my body:

and here is me:

and here is me battling the wild dogs next door:

and here is me looking adorable:

wikipedia says:

The Rhodesian Ridgeback is a dog breed indigenous to Southern Africa. Its European forebears can be traced to the early pioneers of the Cape Colony of southern Africa, who crossed their dogs with the semi-domesticated, ridged hunting dogs of the Khoisan people (referred to by the colonists as "Hottentots").

In the earlier parts of its history, the Rhodesian Ridgeback has also been known as Van Rooyen's Lion Dogs, the African Lion Hound or African Lion Dog—Simba Inja in Ndebele, Shumba Imbwa in Shona—because of their ability to harass a lion and keep it at bay while awaiting their master to make the kill.

i said hey mama that's what i've been doing with kitty! and she said this is not the savannah and there is no hunting kitty

so i've been practicing on the peoples who come to the house instead

also this means i am african american like my aunt shelia and my mama says that's why i'm so pretty

which i am

also i started obedience school and this week i've been practicing responding to my own name

i am very good at it especially when there are treats involved and my mama says i'm a good althusserian subject

plus i has a heritage

kf-in-georgia asks

2008-08-05T16:54:00.000-05:00

kf-in-georgia asks if i've been up to something and i have! my mama and papa went away for the weekend and i stayed at the kennel with all the other puppies until my aunt shelia picked me up and the lady told her i was a "wild woman" which is peoples for awesome

i'm told the kennel is practice for the doggie dude ranch

here's what i love

when my mama and my papa come home and feed me treats on the couch

here's what else i love

kitty

yesterday i went to the vet

2008-07-24T07:10:00.001-05:00

yesterday i went to the vet to get "fixed"

and i didn't even know i was broken

but mama says we don't need any more daisy maes because i'm super special enough all by myself

obviously

dear senator obama

2008-07-15T15:26:00.003-05:00

dear senator obama

my mama says you are looking to adopt a puppy when you're done running for president and we think you should find one from a shelter

there are lots of really super awesome puppies at the shelter for example me daisy mae

i'm not there anymore but i'm sure you will find one almost as great

my mama signed this petition but i can't because puppies don't sign things so i'm just telling you here

also maybe one day your new puppy could invite me to the white house and we could play run around and fetch

kisses
daisy mae

whenever we go out

2008-07-13T11:32:00.000-05:00

whenever we go out for walks and we see peoples they always love me and ask my mama what kind of puppy i am

sometimes they say i look just like their puppies and they guess what breed i am

here are some of the things that the peoples have called me

boxer
beagle
shepherd
hunting dog
pibble
ridgeback
great dane

here is what my mama calls me

mix

my papa says i'm multiracial like my mama which is why i'm so pretty

which i am

ask daisy mae

2008-07-04T12:19:00.007-05:00

Dear Daisy Mae,

What do you think of Leona Helmsley leaving a legacy of $8 billion to go toward the needs of dogs around the world? How would you like to see these funds be used? Do you recommend any guidelines on how they might be distributed?

Sincerely,

Greg in Riverdale

dear greg

thank you for writing in on this important issue on which i happen to have several opinions

my mama says money is what peoples use to buy things so first i think the peoples should buy every puppy his or her very own squeaky thing to chew on like a duck or a frog which is what my peoples buy me at the store

and also the good dog food in the great big bag that's too big for mama to carry

and the peoples should maybe spruce up the shelters because when i was there it wasn't very nice and a lot of dogs have to live there longer than i did

and they should be able to live there forever until peoples come to take them home and maybe the puppies with peoples could go to day care there and we could all play fun games like run around and random barking

maybe they could go to the doggie dude ranch once in a while because shelter dogs need a nice vacation

i can't wait to go to the doggie dude ranch

also i think there should be a fresh air fund for city dogs who want to go out to the country once in a while to bark at the cows

and more doggie parks everywhere and the parks should have cool stuff like dirt and tunnels and squirrels

and endowed scholarships for puppies to go to obedience school

and all puppies should be able to go to the vet whenever they have to even if their peoples have no money or maybe they don't even have peoples at all and the vet should give them cookies

my mama said there should be a federal spay-and-neuter fund and i said i don't know what that means and she said i will in a couple of weeks

i would like to note that the new york times story says that when

Mrs. Helmsley signed [a statement] in 2003 to establish goals for the multibillion-dollar trust that would disburse assets after her death ... the first goal was to help indigent people, the second to provide for the care and welfare of dogs. A year later ... she deleted the first goal.

i don't know what kind of peoples an indigent peoples is but i'm pretty sure it is not as cute as puppies so that was the right decision

also here are some ideas from puppies in new york

thanks for writing greg in riverdale

kisses
daisy mae

ask daisy mae

2008-06-30T10:35:00.004-05:00

Dear Daisy Mae:
What is your favorite tv show?
Love,
sj

dear sj

i have several favorite tv shows for example i like to watch the dog whisperer with my mama because it is about a people who speaks dog

also i like episodes of law & order when there is a k-9 but there are not enough

and i like frisky dingo on the cartoon network even though it has less to do with energetic wild dogs than you might think

thanks for writing, sj

kisses
daisy mae

mama said i need to update my blog

2008-06-25T17:30:00.007-05:00

mama said i need to update my blog because my fans are wanting

she says there's a whole crew club in new york that is waiting to know what i've been doing lately

i said but mama i've been so busy what with my ball and my squirrel and my duck and my other duck and my other ball and my bone and my new bed and hiking and all the running around i have to do all the time

and she said well daisy mae maybe you could take questions from your readers and then just take a minute out of your hectic schedule every once in a while to answer them and offer advice and stuff

and i said that's a good idea mama you're pretty smart i think i'll chew on your hand for a while

and she said okay and i'll write you your first inquiry

Dear Daisy Mae,

What are some of your favorite games?

Love,
Your Mama

well mama i have a lot of fun games that i like to play for example my new favorite game is called run away and it looks like this:

i especially like to play this game with my papa when he accidentally lets me out the front door and he says daisy mae you better not run in the road get your ass over here NOW which is people for i'm ready to chase you all over the neighborhood while i shout bad words

another game i like is sit and shake because i can do both at the same time:

that is called an action shot because it shows me daisy mae in action

my auntie nancy came to visit from massachusetts and we played a game called I'M WILD! in which we are wild which is very difficult to photograph because it is extremely active but it looks a little like this:

sometimes people don't like to play i'm wild because they had too much wine the night before or they are trying to "write" whatever that is and in those cases i win

thanks for writing in mama

love daisy mae

last week i ate a bug

2008-06-16T11:55:00.000-05:00

last week i ate a bug with two heads

it's called a mating bug

then we got in the car and went to crossett where there are dogs and bugs and peoples and cows! i love cows because they are good for barking at and also they poop A LOT

on a more somber note the common review has an essay about when people write books about when dogs have to die but don't worry my mama says because it won't happen to puppies not even when they bite a hole in their mama's jeans

sometimes puppies just have to go outside for a little while

dear papa

2008-06-10T11:10:00.001-05:00

dear papa

i have no idea who peed on the stairs three times while you were under deadline

it must have been other puppies

also i love you

kisses
daisy mae

today we went for a hike

2008-06-07T15:13:00.002-05:00

today we went for a hike in the mount sequoyah woods and we walked and walked and climbed and went on rocks and over trees and we climbed some more and then we went down and then we went up and up and up and up and down and down and up and up and up some more and i ran around and sniffed leaves and sticks and trees and rocks and mud and bugs and a butterfly and a lizard and some more leaves and i met two turtles and one was eating a raspberry so i had to stop and bark at it for a while

ooooooooh i absolutely love hiking

mama and me had a late night

2008-06-04T11:55:00.003-05:00

mama and me had a late night and then we had to read the new yorker all day

you'll notice i have a new collar

i was too big for my first one so we went to the store and got a shiny orange one like hunting dogs my papa said and then we met this guy and he was like A TENNESSEE FAN! which is people for time to get daisy mae another new collar

it is green and mama says it looks better with my new vaccination bling anyways

also my papa blogged about me which means i am famouser and famouser

i have a new hobby

2008-05-27T08:50:00.003-05:00

i have a new hobby it's called hiking

my mama took me to the lake and i liked it so then my mama and my papa and i all went to the lake and there were peoples and squirrels and sticks and lizards and childrens who are little peoples who go awwww i wanna pet the puppy and then i lick them

we walked all around lake fayetteville and i put my feet in and i sniffed EVERYTHING and my mama let me off the leash so i could tire myself out and we went five miles

here i am doing my best henry david thoreau

that was saturday and on monday i wanted more so i ran around and around and around and then we went to devil's den where there are childrens and lizards and great big rocks and we climbed and climbed and climbed

my favorite is going up and also sticking my nose in holes

caves are great big rooms with the lights off that smell cold

we saw one and this guy said he went inside and saw a lizard eating a dead bat and i said mama can we go in and she said no i don't want to see a puppy eating a lizard eating a dead bat

maybe next time

this week i got fan mail

2008-05-22T09:55:00.003-05:00

this week i got fan mail which is when someone in this case a kitty named yuki from new york writes a letter especially to me daisy mae

here it is:

Dear Daisy Mae,

I thought you might want to hang this up somewhere as a reminder that although mama and papa love you dearly, there is a big world outside. That's why I stay inside the house.

XOXO
Yuki

i think that is good advice which is why i've been working on my ferocious bark

last tuesday we hit the road

2008-05-17T11:40:00.002-05:00

last tuesday we hit the road my mama my papa and me to go to little rock where my papa had to interview judge reinhold whom you may remember from such films as fast times at ridgemont high and beverly hills cop and the classic latter day beethoven movies

i rode in my crate and kitty couldn't come

driving to little rock takes a while so i engaged everyone in conversation i said papa are you ready to meet judge reinhold and he said quiet and i said you should ask him what it was like to work with beethoven and mama said daisy, quiet and i said of course he was also in the clifford movie which suggests a penchant for canine-themed projects 1999's puss in boots notwithstanding hey you should ask him about that and mama and papa said quiet daisy you're barking right in our ears and it's really piercing and i said also i've always thought that jason segal owes the very existence of his career to judge reinhold what do you think and mama said daisy mae pleeeeeeeease shut up which is people for you are the most insightful puppy ever and we are so proud

in all it was a very satisfying discussion so i worked on my in-car nap technique

oh i am awfully good at road trips

when i'm extra special good

2008-05-09T13:39:00.003-05:00

when i'm extra special good at chewing my mama calls me little jaws

i've been working on my chewing lately i chewed my duck and my bone and my bucket and kitty's food and the floor and my papa's vintage chair and the table and some fingers and i got my eyes on some shoes

my papa says i'm already chewing at a fourth grade grade level and mama says probably i can skip a grade

today i worked on mama's new pajama pants and sometimes her legs which are inside them

she said daisy mae if you don't get your butt outside and leave me alone i swear to god i am going to stomp you

she's so funny

monday night was bittersweet

2008-05-06T10:05:00.000-05:00

monday night was bittersweet

i killded lobster

one of my preferred pastimes

2008-05-01T08:10:00.007-05:00

one of my preferred pastimes is to jump around and get things to play with me things like my duck and my bucket and my yellow thing and my motorized zany ball and my kitty and my papa and my mama

mama says i am not calm-submissive

she says just because i'm cute doesn't mean i run the house i think cesar millan has been giving her strange ideas

also i've been working on my nap technique i am quite the connoisseur

here are some of my favorite naps

on the couch

on the floor

with mama's leg

in the study

on the back porch

with my papa

oh yes i am awfully good

after my morning walk

2008-04-27T22:32:00.000-05:00

after my morning walk my mama and i watch the dog whisperer with cesar millan so mama can learn to be a good pack leader

she says daisy mae i can't believe we live in a culture where we will pay a "dog psychologist" to tell us that dogs aren't people

i'm like whatever lady i'm just over here updating my dogblog

one thing i've noticed

2008-04-26T15:16:00.003-05:00

one thing i've noticed about peoples is that they like to gather outside when it is bright out

this morning my mama needed a sleep-in so papa took me to the farmers market and i met lots and lots of peoples and they all adored me

i tell you what though when we go places papa is all business cause sometimes i'm like this is a nice place to sit down for a while or this is a good spot to sniff or hey it's a stick! and he's always trying to walk

it's okay he's a new papa and we're still leash training him

also today we went back to the pet store because i'm eating us out of house and home and we went to something called springfest because the peoples need to gather

i like springfest because everybody says OOOOOOOH WHAT KIND OF PUPPY IS THAT and my mama says she's a boxer mix which is people for the bestest smartest puppy in the whole world and then i get my belly rubbed

we met a lady selling homemade dog treats and i got chicken treats and liver treats and lobster treats and water and my butt sniffed by a border collie and i ate something yummy off the ground and something sticky and another treat and something that fell out of mama's sandwich and sonic youth walked by

they are a famous rock band but no one rubbed their belly

i'm just sayin'

see there's this lobster

2008-04-25T00:04:00.010-05:00

see there's this lobster that's been menacing my pack

he is everywhere he even followed us to the park like the other day i'm all ready for my close-up and there's that lobster sneaking up on the right

also sometimes he can fly

he is that sneaky but it's okay i got him

it's hard work being a puppy that's for sure with the lobster problem and then i defended my papa from this suspicious stick

sometimes i need a little nap

every day it's the same that lobster comes back and back and then i show him who's boss

course when he's quiet he's okay for cuddling which is how my mama says i am too

i have a new hobby

2008-04-21T06:40:00.002-05:00

i have a new hobby it's called digging

digging is not as good as chewing but you know cowper says variety's the very spice of life

my favorite is a new take on chewing i like to call nipping it is you might say the very center of my ken and mama and i debate it all day long she says no no no and i say yes yes yes and she says no no no daisy you mustn't mustn't mustn't and i say but mama i must must must

i am a puppy

mama says i am raging with energy which means i get two walks a day i like walks yesterday i met a girl with bubbles and a landscaper with tattoos he said daisy mae you sure are pretty and it's true i am

big mama says

2008-04-17T13:04:00.004-05:00

big mama says kitty loves me she just doesn't know it yet whatever that means

kitty comes downstairs to play more now we have a fun game where i go HEY! and she goes HSSSSS and i go HEY! and she goes HSSSSSSSSSS and i go HEY! HEY!! HEY!!! and she goes HSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS and swats me

soon i'll catch her tail and go to the next round

i went to the vet and he found a worm in my tummy so i got medicine that tastes like butterscotch and makes me smell like a puppy sundae mama says and last night i ran around and around and chewed and ran and chewed and ran and jumped around a bit and mama said i was on crack which is fun

she said daisy mae you drive me to drink and had another whisky

also papa put me in a puppy western which makes me that much more famous

this morning at 3:34

2008-04-16T04:11:00.000-05:00

this morning at 3:34 inspiration struck i call it "o daisy mio" and it goes nnnnnn nnnng nnnnngggg ow oww OW oww OW OW OW AWOOOOOOOO AWOOOOOOOO OW OW AWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO repeat

the key is in the fortissimo i really nailed it on the ninth go-round and papa rapped on my crate and cried QUIET QUIET which is italian for bravo so i gave encores

it's clever moments like this my mama tells me i'm lucky i'm too cute to shoot which is people for i love you daisy mae

last night was all

2008-04-15T13:27:00.000-05:00

last night was all kitty food is not for puppy kitty food is not for puppy and i learned to sit which means i get treats

kitty is fluffy and goes HSSSSSSSS HSSSSSSSS HSSSSSSSSSSSSS her tail is twitchy i wonder if it's good for chewing

big mama says i have adoring fans and papa put me in a movie this is it starring me daisy mae

also i like lunch

i am daisy mae

2008-04-14T11:46:00.000-05:00

i am daisy mae

i am a puppy

i was in a shelter with my sisters and sisters and brother and one was bitey but i was cute so i got to go to the pet store and i got a leash and a frog and a duck and a lobster and a bone and i met peoples! i love peoples

and some guinea pigs

when i got home i showed that frog who's in charge daisy mae that's who

life with peoples is pretty good i like eating and chewing and sleeping and chewing and chewing and big mama told me i was bitey and i got a bath

big mama and papa let me on the couch they say no a lot and also i chewed a duck and a bone and a stick and a lobster and that frog

i caught a shoe and they said no

i like peoples and also i like naptime on the couch i slept through two baseball games and the host which is a movie about a korean water puppy who is bitier than i am and i like naptime in my crate i listen to kcrw bookworm michael silverblatt makes me sleepy also i learned some things about michael ondaatje's views on the poetry of the novel but mostly i was chewing a duck and sleeping

i like eating paper which big mama says is trouble

books are not for chewing i don't know what that means but i also like pooping which is an outside game