there is a mice

there is a mice that lives in the kitchen

it is in a lot of troubles because it has been eating the people food and that is very very bad

like last week it nibbled a pizza that my papa had just taken out of the oven and one time i got in terrible trouble just for sniffing my mama's pizza

i asked my mama what our strategerie was about the mice and she said diplomacy is always the right approach and i said what does that mean and she said it means the next time i see the mice i am going to give it a stern talking-to and i said a talking-to about what and she said ABOUT ITS IMMINENT DEATH

and that is why you never go near my mama's pizza

part of my job

part of my job as an antelopelologist is to study the languages of foreign creatures

squirrels do not have much to say maybe because their mouths are always full of haycorns

one explanation is that they have no language but this to me seems unlikely because then how could they plot collectively against the general wellbeing of others

i believe that they withhold their language from us as part of their general sneakiness

chippermonks on the other hand are quite talkative

today on my walks i saw a building with vines all over it and the vines were moving and i walked up to them and put my nose in them and there was a chippermonk in there! and it said WEEEEEEEET weetweetweetweet which i take to mean "hello daisy mae i am a chippermonk" and then there were MORE chippermonks in there and they said WEEEETWEEEET weetweetweet WEEEEEEEEEEEEET which can only mean "we are chippermonks and we are in these vines and you found us daisy mae because you are the most cleverest puppy"

now that i speak chippermonk if i can only find the Rosetta Bone with chippermonk, peoples, and squirrel i will know what those squirrels are saying about me

my research

my research on squirrels has entered a new stage 

the first stage was largely bile-logical which is the science of opening squirrels up to see what's inside* 

but my mama said maybe i could take a more antelope-logical approach which is when you study the behaviors of squirrels when they are alive and uneated and this way you can find out where all their crazy squirrel ideas come from 

one thing i have observed is that squirrel culture is organized around the obsessive collection of haycorns 

so when i am in the field which is peoples for when an antelope-lologist goes on her walks i like to stop and investigate the haycorns which come from the sidewalk underneath the tree by the playground 

then i like to carry one or two haycorns around for a while to try to see the world through a squirrel's eyes but without taking the eyes out of a squirrel 

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*feetsnote: so named because the old greek hippo Crates said that squirrels are full of yellow bile which is the stuff inside them that makes them so disagreeable

a dilemma

a dilemma is when you want things a certain way but something prevents that way of being how it is

the thing-that-prevents is known as an obstacle and it frequently takes the form of metal patches in the ground like this:



i do not like obstacles and i do not like to walk on them or even go near them

my mama says they are just-a-grates which is peoples for mamas can go near them without succumbing to the evil powers they exercise over puppies

the other night i had a dilemma when i was relaxing in the hallway with my ball and when that happens you have to growl at the obstacle for a while and then yell MAMA MAMA I HAVE A DILEMMA at which point she will stop watching her movie and come address your concerns which are this:



i think you see what i mean

my papa's job

my papa's job is being a freelance writer which is peoples for looking at the computer all the time

sometimes when you work from home like my papa and me other peoples think your job is not very strenuous but let me tell you that is simply not true

first we have to work on the laptop




then we have to work on the desktop



while my papa writes i spend some time on my bonework






and then we have to take a little nap



sometimes kitty helps with the editing





and sometimes we even work late into the night on the phone


being a writer is a lot like being a puppy in that your work is never really finished

science

science is when you want to know how something works

so you make up a Hippo Thesis about how it might work and then test it out with Speriments

for example i am very interested in knowing exactly what is so wrong with squirrels

there is obviously something evil in them

my Hippo Thesis is that maybe if you just give them a really good shake you can get the evil out and then they would be okay for friends

this one time i caught one and tried to Speriment it but it got broken so i ated it

you know you can be friends

you know you can be friends with peoples and puppies you have never even met

that is what the internets is for

one of my friends is a beagle named della mae who helps her mama Lady Buttons with her blog and and we have ever so much in common like our names and our mamas and our ears and being from the south and living in canadia and all kinds of things

her mama gave me a beautiful blogger award which is peoples for i love you in the internets

i am going to tell you seven things about me daisy mae that you maybe did not know

1. when i was littles i had a white spot between my eyes and a black tail but now i am all daisy-colored

2. i can show you the tree on the trail where the chipper-monks hide i swear

3. i don't like it so much when you touch my feets

4. this one time i ated a squirrel and it tasted like mischief

5. my favorite outside game is Running Away and my favorite inside game is Being Close

6. sometimes i dream there are bunnies in the house and i have to chase them in my sleep

7. i am told i am quite a snorer

one of my favorite games is sharing and i am sharing my award with these blogs:

Bookwagon: my mama's papa's favorite game is reading books
The Aunt-Ventures of L and Auntie She-She: we miss my auntie shelia who does not live in canadia with us
All Things Frau: my friend gobo is a kitty and his mama's blog makes my mama droolly
Running Is Optional: my friend zeus helps his mama read and run
Hero the Sharpei: hero is a puppy like me
My Life by Buster: buster is a puppy too
Daily Dose of Jack: jack is a puppy too

oooooh i absolutely love the internets