ask daisy mae

Dear Daisy Mae,

What do you think of Leona Helmsley leaving a legacy of $8 billion to go toward the needs of dogs around the world? How would you like to see these funds be used? Do you recommend any guidelines on how they might be distributed?

Sincerely,

Greg in Riverdale

dear greg

thank you for writing in on this important issue on which i happen to have several opinions

my mama says money is what peoples use to buy things so first i think the peoples should buy every puppy his or her very own squeaky thing to chew on like a duck or a frog which is what my peoples buy me at the store

and also the good dog food in the great big bag that's too big for mama to carry

and the peoples should maybe spruce up the shelters because when i was there it wasn't very nice and a lot of dogs have to live there longer than i did

and they should be able to live there forever until peoples come to take them home and maybe the puppies with peoples could go to day care there and we could all play fun games like run around and random barking

maybe they could go to the doggie dude ranch once in a while because shelter dogs need a nice vacation

i can't wait to go to the doggie dude ranch

also i think there should be a fresh air fund for city dogs who want to go out to the country once in a while to bark at the cows

and more doggie parks everywhere and the parks should have cool stuff like dirt and tunnels and squirrels

and endowed scholarships for puppies to go to obedience school

and all puppies should be able to go to the vet whenever they have to even if their peoples have no money or maybe they don't even have peoples at all and the vet should give them cookies

my mama said there should be a federal spay-and-neuter fund and i said i don't know what that means and she said i will in a couple of weeks

i would like to note that the new york times story says that when

Mrs. Helmsley signed [a statement] in 2003 to establish goals for the multibillion-dollar trust that would disburse assets after her death ... the first goal was to help indigent people, the second to provide for the care and welfare of dogs. A year later ... she deleted the first goal.

i don't know what kind of peoples an indigent peoples is but i'm pretty sure it is not as cute as puppies so that was the right decision

also here are some ideas from puppies in new york

thanks for writing greg in riverdale

kisses
daisy mae