THIS IS A SQUIRREL ALERT CODE RED
REPEAT
SQUIRREL ALERT CODE RED
MY MAMA AND ME WE TOOK AN EARLY MORNING WALK AND THEY ARE EVERYWHERE
YOU HEAR ME? EV. ER. EE. WHERE.
IF YOU GO OUTSIDE PLEASE EXERCISE EXTREME VIGILANCE
IF YOU SEE ANY OF THE FOLLOWING:
- TWITCHY TAILS
- BEADY EYES
- SUDDEN, DARTING MOVEMENTS IN, UP, TOWARD, OR AROUND TREES
IF YOU WITNESS OR SUSPECT ANY SQUIRREL ACTIVITY, BARK IMMEDIATELY AND LOUDLY
THIS IS NOT A TEST
3 comments:
(from the divine miss t and the red rocket):
daisy, we hear your call! we are dealing with a rogue squirrel we believe is plotting something. he stays on the side of the tree and watches us. he knows our every move. he sends in flies to distract our attention. we are on 12 hour guard shifts. we believe our mamma may be a traitor as we see her bring him food. we do not think the food is poisoned. the only way to combat the problem we believe is to join forces across the country. father has guns. red rocket just got a subscription to "guns and ammo" and "squirrel weekly" (we believe there is a code being sent to activate all squirrel cells nationwide for a singe dog attack).
remain vigilant daisy mae. your brother and sister in arms with our paws to the cause,
red rocket and divine miss t.
divine miss t and red rocket, you are heroes in these trying times. my mama does not understand our struggle. she says, daisy mae, that's just a squirrel. what part of "squirrel" does she not understand??
when the squirrels have brainwashed our peoples into complacency, we must stand together.
when we break the code, we will alert you.
our peoples are no longer of any use in our struggle. we must stand on our own four feet, united as one.
death to squirrels,
divine miss t and red rocket
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