part of my job as an antelopelologist is to study the languages of foreign creatures
squirrels do not have much to say maybe because their mouths are always full of haycorns
one explanation is that they have no language but this to me seems unlikely because then how could they plot collectively against the general wellbeing of others
i believe that they withhold their language from us as part of their general sneakiness
chippermonks on the other hand are quite talkative
today on my walks i saw a building with vines all over it and the vines were moving and i walked up to them and put my nose in them and there was a chippermonk in there! and it said WEEEEEEEET weetweetweetweet which i take to mean "hello daisy mae i am a chippermonk" and then there were MORE chippermonks in there and they said WEEEETWEEEET weetweetweet WEEEEEEEEEEEEET which can only mean "we are chippermonks and we are in these vines and you found us daisy mae because you are the most cleverest puppy"
now that i speak chippermonk if i can only find the Rosetta Bone with chippermonk, peoples, and squirrel i will know what those squirrels are saying about me
squirrels do not have much to say maybe because their mouths are always full of haycorns
one explanation is that they have no language but this to me seems unlikely because then how could they plot collectively against the general wellbeing of others
i believe that they withhold their language from us as part of their general sneakiness
chippermonks on the other hand are quite talkative
today on my walks i saw a building with vines all over it and the vines were moving and i walked up to them and put my nose in them and there was a chippermonk in there! and it said WEEEEEEEET weetweetweetweet which i take to mean "hello daisy mae i am a chippermonk" and then there were MORE chippermonks in there and they said WEEEETWEEEET weetweetweet WEEEEEEEEEEEEET which can only mean "we are chippermonks and we are in these vines and you found us daisy mae because you are the most cleverest puppy"
now that i speak chippermonk if i can only find the Rosetta Bone with chippermonk, peoples, and squirrel i will know what those squirrels are saying about me
2 comments:
Daisy Mae, I applaud your research into the language of chippermonks and the nefarious doings of squirrels. Please consider writing a monograph or delivering a series of lectures on these and other topics. Society will benefit!
Daisy Mae, I see you have developed a wonderful new writing skill since leaving The Canine Connection. I am immensely proud and look forward to reading all of your works past, present, and future. We miss you, but clearly you have important work to do in your new life. --Val
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